When is it too much?

What does it take before you realize it's too much?

How far do you have to stretch before you realize you can't anymore?

What helps you to keep going?

We have so many pressures attacking us. Children who need us even when we have nothing left to give. Husbands who want us even when we can't figure out why. Friends who love us when we don't love back.

Kind of reminds me of someone. Jesus. He's always there. No matter how badly I mess things up. No matter what direction I turn. No matter how badly I fail.

One day I'll sit at a table with him and over a piece of chocolate cake, I'll ask him what gave him the strength.

I can't wait for that day.

Spring Cleaning - A Rant.

It's that time again. Hard to believe. Last weekend we had 30 cm of snow dumped and this weekend it's a beautiful spring day!

I just spent way too long reorganizing my cupboard. If I ever needed a reminder of why I detest spring cleaning it's this - I make a mess just to clean the mess.

Sadly, I only did the pantry. Not the rest of the kitchen or the house. I wish I was rich so I could have a cleaning service come in and do this for me!

Three Simple Words

Being a mother of three girls is a challenge, one I didn't quite expect. Each have their own personality, their own gifts, their own temperaments. And when I think I am beginning to understand them - my feet are jerked out from under me.

 

Take my middle daughter for example. She has no problems voicing her opinion, but she likes to test the water first to see how her opinion will be taken. If she has an issue with her dad, she'll come to me first and vice versa. It's become a common occurrence lately for her to butt heads with her dad. She's growing up and trying to be independent. I expect it. At least once a week she'll come to me and say something like "I don't understand ... or why does this ...". Then she wants to know how to talk to dad about it without raising his ire. So I tell her to tell him how she feels. I feel like this when ... I'm hoping to teach her skills in how to deal with issues later on in life as well. But I've never had it come back to me. Until last night.

 

"Your daughter wants to know why I tell her I love her more than you do?"

 

WHAT? I always tell my kids I love them. Countless times. On the phone, in emails, in person. ALWAYS. So I was taken back last night.

Until I remembered that she's different. She has different needs than her sisters. A different Love Language (have you ever read that book?) I should have known better. Really. My oldest needs the touching - the hugs, holding her hand, rubbing her back. My youngest needs to have quality time with me - doing stuff together, just us. Apparently my middle daughter needs to be told I love you more than the others. She needs positive affirmation and reinforcements. I know this. She works better, does better, handles herself better when she's in a positive setting. Insert one ounce of negativity and BAM - she's a different girl.

 

Once again, my role as a mom is being challenged. I need to grow to meet my daughter's need.

 

If I haven't said it before - Thank you to my mom for never giving up on me, for always being there to meet my needs, to listen to me and give me the freedom to grow. Now it's my turn to do that for my own children.

 

Say a prayer for me, will you?

Remembering Tradition

Sometimes the craving for home just hit ya. Sometimes it’s a soft remembrance, a subtle memory that filters through your mind and teases you. Other times it is like a frying pan in the hands of a woman scorned – hard, deadly and leaves a mark.

This past weekend I was hit with a frying pan.

There was only one way to deal with that kind of craving.

I gave in.

How, you might ask? Well – I made knip (I really hope I spelled that right … I can’t seem to find this dish anywhere on the internet). A friend of mine calls the dish ‘buttons’, but then she ruins it with sauerkraut. It's a German dish - or at least I think it is. Mom - correct me if I'm wrong.

My number one comfort food whenever my mom is around is this dish. It’s a simple peasants meal but don’t let that fool you. Trust me.

The basics you need to know – cut up onion and smother it with butter in a frying pan. Dice potatoes and add them. Then in a separate bowl mix flour and water until you have a malleable glob you can fit in your hand. Take this glob in your hand, find a dull knife (I use a kids knife) and start to cut off strips of this glob from your hand into a pot of boiling water (sorry, forgot to tell you that earlier). You’ll know the dough is ready because it bobs up in the water.

Then mix it all together. If you are like me, you’ll want to add more butter so you dough is smothered in it. No, this is not a dish to eat while on a diet. Trust me.

My children love this dish. I can’t believe I haven’t made it for them before. This past weekend was the first time. Shame on me. My youngest admits that Grandma makes it better, but that’s because I omit the onions (and yes, it tastes just fine, thankyouverymuch).

I’m making this dish again – tonight. My husband is making lazy man cabbage rolls for dinner and I hate these things. I detest the smell of them … so I’ll make my own dish tonight and my oldest will share with me since she also agrees with my distaste for cabbage 

New Day, Same Dream

It’s so hard to believe that a new year is just around the bend. Where did this one go? How did it seem to go by so fast?

In the past I used to make New Years Resolutions. You too? I stopped a few years ago when I realized that they were just thoughts, ideas, unlofty goals that I never planned on fulfilling. So instead I just gathered that dream that was close to my heart and made a decision to continue to follow it. Whether it was to continue to eat healthy (and pray that one day my body will realize all my hard work), to love my family more, to nurture the friendships already in my life or to continue with my goal to be published.

My dreams are the same ones I’ve had year in and year out. The only thing that has changed was me.

I read the following (below) in my devotional today and it made sense. Everything that it will take to make my dreams come true is already within me. I’m the one who determines what happens to my dreams, no one else. Yep, I may stumble a few times, want to throw in the towel and yes, I’ve been known to consume a few chocolate bars here and there (or boxes of chocolates like the ones I have in front of me) … but as long as I pick myself back up and dust myself off – I will be okay. My dream will never go away. It will grow with me, expand as I expand (not width wise thankyouverymuch) and give way to new dreams when these ones have come to pass.

Resolutions are just things we’ve already decided in our heart to do – yet they have a bad rap when we make them every year on January 1^st. Why not make it a part of you? Have that resolution be your goal, your dream  - that thing that you are already pursuing?

What do you think?

“When God puts a dream in your heart, when He puts a promise on the inside of you, He deposits within you everything you need to accomplish that dream. He wouldn’t give you the desire to do something without giving you the ability to fulfill it. In fact, the scripture tells us that God gives us the desires of our heart. In other words, He puts the desire inside of us and then works with us to bring it to pass.

Oftentimes, people set out to accomplish their dreams, but they face a setback or disappointment, and then they feel like their time has passed. But let me tell you today, no matter where you’ve come from, no matter what’s happened in your past, God wants to make you new. He wants to give you a fresh start. If you feel like you’ve missed opportunities in your life, if you feel like your time has passed, remember, today is a new day. You are a new person, and God has new opportunities in store for you. Lift up your eyes of faith and look forward to the new thing God has for you in this New Year!” Joel Olsteen

 

Friendship at Christmas Time

I love Christmas. There's just something about this season that puts a smile on my face and in my heart. No, it's not the gifts or the hustle and bustle or even all those christmas parties we go to. I love how, despite all the busyness people can take a moment or two out of their time and give.

Whether it's a plate of cookies, a christmas card or even an invite to wrap christmas presents together, it doesn't matter. Real friendships aren't about convenience, they are about relationships. You get a sense of who those 'real' friends are in your life - not by the amount of christmas cards you give or recieve (word of warning - I didn't send any cards out this year - sorry Mom) - but by everything else. A gentle hug, a smile as you pass by, an offer for coffee, an email or text asking how you are ... the little things. That's what counts.

I love Christmas. When I can separate the 'to do' list from the season, it's a wonderful thing.

Childish Wishes & Santa Kisses

I'm going to share a secret with you.

I used to laugh at all those parents who stressed about finding that 'perfect' gift for their child - you know - that gift that they ask Santa for but you can never find.

Yes, I know. I was cruel and insensitive. To all those parents who have traveled this road before me, I'm sorry. I get it now. I really really do and it's a painful experience.

My youngest wants a doll house. She specifically requested a certain dollhouse too - from Santa. Yes - she believes, despite all our teachings on who Santa really is blah blah blah - there is a mystery to Christmas I've discovered - Jesus and Santa do go together at this time of the year. Go figure. Anyways, the specific dollhouse is sold out at EVERY store and online shop I can find. EVERY single one.

And so the panic attacks begin. 

Until today when I am casually going through Chapters online and see some cute dollhouses. And my youngest sees them as well. Low and behold - she wants THOSE dollhouses. And yes, I can find them EVERYWHERE!!!!! 

The miracle of Christmas - is not just the birth of Jesus and family coming together in love. It's also seeing that sparkle in a child's eye when they realize they are special. When they believe that Santa has heard their request and loves them enough to listen. It's also that sigh of relief from parents everywhere when they realize they lived up to their child's expectations and are trampled with loving kisses from their children on Christmas day.

(now, about those expectations that we allow our children to have ... that's another post).